I think I would be more concerned about people trying to differentiate identical twins by their attributes than spending time making comparisons with other types of twins. Every teacher we’ve had has treated my kids as individuals, and they definitely have their strengths and weaknesses like any individuals.

Anybody looking at that first picture can tell my son is the crazy one and my daughter is the angel. Because one of them acts like a boy and one of them acts like a girl.

There, I just compared them.

I’m curious, though. You mentioned not wanting to unfairly compare teachers, which I think is very insightful of you, but I wonder about teachers comparing twins. I am leaning towards keeping them together at least in kindergarten; however, the strong likelihood of them being compared is my biggest concern. Like you, I have a girl and boy, so there are already huge differences that are normal for girls and boys that age. I just don’t want one referred to as the “smart, behaved, cooperative…” one, and the other as the “slow, active, mischievous…” one. I know from personal experience that comparisons exist in classrooms even without twins or between twins in different classrooms, but I don’t want to compound the problem. I guess it really just depends on the teacher.

I am interested in your viewpoint on this from your experience. Family and friends (and even myself, sometimes) compare them now, so I can’t imagine what it would be like in an educational setting.

I definitely like your take on homework, projects, and special occasions, though! Same class would definitely simplify things!

“Unless there is a compelling reason to separate them, the National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs ( NOMOTC) and other experts advocate keeping them together, especially in early elementary years. ”

And from the NOMOTC website: http://www.nomotc.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=157

“Dr. Nancy Segal, author and advocate of keeping multiples together says, “In our culture we appreciate uniqueness, and people wrongly equate twin closeness with a lack of individuality.” She continues, “There’s research that suggests that when friends are in the same class, they’re more exploratory, they cling to the teacher less. So, if we are worried about individuality, why do we let best friends go to school together?” In a University of Wisconsin and the Institute of Psychiatry at King’s College in London research study, 878 pairs of twins from ages 5 to 7 found that twins separated early were observed to be more anxious and emotionally distressed than those who remained in the same class. This was especially true for identical twins.”

The position paper from the NOMOTC also discusses how it is better to begin with twins together and separate them if issues arise.

I should have included these sources in my article as part of the reason we made this choice for our family.

For cheryllage – the one time I remember being annoyed was our sweet 16 birthday party when my dad danced with my sister as the oldest and I was left having to dance with a friend’s grandfather. Generally I didn’t mind if my mom was in a different classroom (and she sort of just stopped doing that stuff after a while).

Oddly enough I just posted on independence with multiples at my blog this morning in case anyone is interested in checking it out.

Around Mother’s Day, for the kindergarten Mother’s Day tea, a mom cannot be in two places. We had to do some finagling to make that day work without tears…mostly mine. It DID work out, but same class for that day would have been MUCH easier!

Making that decision regarding school placement is a very important one that needs to be made with each specific set of twin-individuals (and their parents) in mind.

While we have no regrets about separating our twins for school, I’ve gained great appreciation and understanding on why some parents elect to keep them together from your post. Thank you!