Comments on: Guest Post: Manly Expectations

By: LauraC

LauraC — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 13:57:40 +0000

I have to laugh too, because he is still such a baby. I found the second year is when Jon and I had to spend a lot of time making sure we were on the same page as to how and when to discipline and what we wanted to teach our kids. Obviously a lot of this was on the job training but there were some growing pains as we learned what was important to us and how we could achieve those goals together.
LauraC´s last blog ..Old friend, new baby, lots of wine, and MICHAEL CHIARELLO

By: Sandy

Sandy — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 06:33:09 +0000

Your post reminds me of a conversation I had with another mom recently. I was sharing my frustration about the way my husband lets our daughter behave at the mall. I didn’t want our daughter acting a certain way when she was with me for reasons related to my physical limitations as the weaker spouse. My friend reassured me that kids become aware, very quickly, that they can act one way with dad but need to act another way with mom. Or vice versa. Parents styles are not exactly the same. And that’s great for kids!

By: Diane Bogusz

Diane Bogusz — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 00:06:26 +0000

It is only natural that your husband would view your son as needing more “toughness” even at such a young age, it is a “man” thing. And your kids will benefit from the approach that you each bring to parenting, no matter if you have different approaches they are perceptive enough to know what they can get away with -with who- exactly. I let my husband take his own approach and he does very well, so I’m lucky. It sounds like your husband has excellent intentions and you can probably rest easy on the whole thing. In my house I am outnumbered – 4 males in my house and I’m the only female. I think that boys have a unique need for their mommy when they are very small, and they outgrow it all too quickly.

By: Megan

Megan — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 17:32:48 +0000

I’ve been thinking about this lately as a lesbian mom of three (toddler and infant twins) boys. Some of it is clearly genetic, my nearly two year old comes home from daycare and immediately asks “My dinner ready?” Yet he is kind and gentle with others, including the twins. As all toddlers do he vacillates between needing hugs from one mommy or the other and trying to be wildly independent. Usually at the top of the hardwood stairs…

By: jen

jen — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 14:44:48 +0000

I find that my son and daughter tend towards some gender expectations. my daughter is kinder and more considerate – she is more likely to find a way to involve her brother in whatever she is playing and will offer him his lovey when he cries. my son laughs when my husband burps and marches around the house like a little napolean. I don’t think we created these tendencies, but I suspect we do, without even realizing it, encourage them somewhat.

By: Jungletwins

Jungletwins — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 21:42:10 +0000

Very interesting, and not just for those raising boys. How do we teach our kids how to be both loving and tough? I read a very interesting article recently (I’ll have to try and figure out where I found it) about a researcher whose recent work has shown that the greatest indicator for whether children will achieve and succeed in life, is NOT intelligence, but rather “grit.” She says that scientists have spent years coming up with more complex intelligence tests for children, but these tests show almost no correlation between IQ and success, whereas a child’s “grit index” has everything to do with how well he or she will succeed. The same researcher is now studying ways to instill grit in children. I’ll be watching closely to see what’s advised.
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