Comments on: Identity Crisis

By: Denise

Denise — Tue, 18 May 2010 21:51:06 +0000

I am in the middle of road too. I like dressing the boys alike so they can have a little attention when I do take them out. And its so much easier on laundry loads when there is two of everything in the same color. But usually at home one is in light blue and other in dark blue or whatever color they wear its usually one dark one light. Or blue with grey sleeves, grey with blue sleeves ect. We dont get out much so when we do its nice to immediately know they are dressed alike if one wonders off. they are 18 months and full of spit and vinager.

By: Kristen

Kristen — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 13:35:19 +0000

I have identical boys, too, and I would say I am middle of the road. The majority of time the go in different outfits (daycare, around the house). If I have a cute outfit for them it is either matching or coordinating (my favorite). I like to be able to quickly say LU-ke is in the bl-UE. But I don’t really stress about it. I feel like, anyone who spends a decent amount of time with them can tell them apart. They do go through phases where they look more similar or different. I am finding it more difficult now that they are moving around a bit more and you have to make a quick judgement call based on the back of their head. “Luke stop doing that!” when really it’s Jenson…no wonder they don’t listen to me ! (J/K they are 14 months…what do you expect?!)

By: Judy

Judy — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 14:59:20 +0000

I’m with Rhonda. My girls will be 2 next month and I will be heading down the “twinself awareness” path also. Knowing their own identities has been somewhat confusing for them. I ask them what their name is and what her sister’s name is so they will know how to respond if someone asks them directly (they usually don’t).

By: Jeanine

Jeanine — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 13:21:19 +0000

My sons are identical as well and we do the blue thing too (usually with pacifiers). It works really well. But I often dress them in the same exact outfit. I find it is much easier when I’m shopping to get two of everything.

I try to do the same outfit but in different colors, but a lot of times that ends up being more work because you want two colors that go together. Recently I wanted the same outfit for my boys in different colors and one was bright blue and the other was army green. I think those colors look terrible together so I opted instead to get both outfits in bright blue.

I also think two babies dressed exactly alike is adorable.

One of my sons has a scar on his face (poor thing fell a few months ago) and that is now how most of my family tells them apart. I actually can’t wait for the scar to heal more so that it’s not a hint for my family anymore. I like them looking exactly alike, it’s like a fun game seeing whether family members can pick them out. Plus if you just get to know them a little bit, it’s really easy to tell them apart. I consider telling them apart to be a special privilege that those who know them best are entitled to.

By: pam

pam — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 01:03:28 +0000

my boys have their own colors, but not every outfit comes in blue, green AND red, so sometimes it gets confusing. and most mornings, i’m lucky if they match (i mean tops to bottoms) so if miles gets the blue shirt or linus gets the red or oliver gets the yellow (WHO is yellow???) then daycare tends to get a bit confused, until they can figure out who is who.

i’m just lazy about putting them in their colors, but i do try when it’s family.
.-= pam´s last blog ..Wish List Wednesday =-.

By: Mariah

Mariah — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 00:41:26 +0000

We thought we had a fool proof way to have people identify them – different color shoes. It was working great until the girls decided they wanted to switch shoes permanently. Oddly enough at the same time they also switched cribs. They decided it together and made the change completely…I guess they were working out their own identity issues.

So now I have one that likes ponytails in her hair and the other that doesn’t so we go with that. I’m sure it will be a recurring issue throughout their lives.

By: Quadmama

Quadmama — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 21:39:17 +0000

I dressed my daughters alike a lot in their first years. It was easier for me. Even though I have a set of identicals within my quadruplets, they have distinct personalities, so most people catch on pretty quickly as to who is who. Now that they’re older and more independent, I let them choose their own clothes.. if they want identical outfits, so be it… but I don’t let them dress alike to go to school. I want their teachers and classmates to see them as individuals rather than “the quads.” Right now my girls think it’s funny when people confuse them with one another.
.-= Quadmama´s last blog ..The No Crying Rule =-.

By: Jamie

Jamie — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 21:24:11 +0000

I have b/g twins and even with this obvious difference people were still identifying them as a single unit…the twins, the babies, etc. I can’t imagine what an effort it would be with same sex multiples to get people to see them as individuals.

Now, I must confess that I do dress all three of mine the same, sometimes. I’ve found that it is much easier to keep an eye on them when we are in a crowed public place or in a kids play area if they are all wearing the same color.

By: Rhonda

Rhonda — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 20:24:08 +0000

We just made a point of telling everyone which child was in which outfit whenever we arrived anywhere. I never assigned a color and I’m so glad I didn’t. They girls like being able to wear any color they want and not be required to wear certain clothes. Around age 3, both girls decided they have favorite colors and that has helped, but some days they want to wear their sisters favorite color and that’s okay with me. I made a point of telling everyone to ask the girls their names and if they call one of them by the wrong name, the girls correct them.

Now at just shy of 4, my daughters regularly tell people, “we are identical twins. that means we look alike, but we are different and we like different things” If asked, they will even say they are identical twins because they split into two babies in mommy’s belly before they were born.

I think helping them understand that they DO look alike and that people WILL confuse them and giving them coping strategies has served us better than just providing visual clues.
.-= Rhonda´s last blog ..this here’s the Rubber Duck =-.

By: jane

jane — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 20:11:01 +0000

I do the same thing. Cole = blue and Owen = the other color. It works for the most part. There are some people who insist on buying us matching outfits so sometimes they're dressed the same. For me, the easiest are outfits that are coordinating but not matching and still adhere to the color rule. That way I can pull it out quickly and only have to make one clothing decision and I'm all set. When I buy them clothes I do it that way. .-= jane´s last blog .. =-.