Comments on: Division of Labor

By: tara

tara — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 19:47:12 +0000

i have the best partner ever. we do an equal share of the childcare, sometimes she does even more than me:) i do most of the house work but i enjoy it so that is ok. we take turns keeping them on our own when the other wants to go do somehting. she makes their food, always gets up first when they fuss or cry and always gives them baths! she is amazing and the best mom!
tara´s last blog ..Happy birthday, Becca!

By: Quadmama

Quadmama — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 15:13:26 +0000

I have been blessed with a husband who does not think being a stay at home mom means I should do it all. Sure, I do the majority of the laundry and cooking, but on the weekends he takes over. He also gives me Sunday to sleep in. I would not be as sane as I am if I didn’t have a partner willing to pitch in.
Quadmama´s last blog ..Living Like Pioneers

By: Kim

Kim — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 20:28:50 +0000

My husband also has been extremely helpful around the house and with our girls much more than we both think would be if we had a singleton. He sees the need and steps up because of necessity. When our girls were infants he would get up with me EVERY night for feedings because I could not get both girls latched on and burped solo and then off to work he’d go in the mornings after being up every three hours. He has happily called me the “project manager” of the systems and schedules of our home that I created and agrees with the way I’ve set things up to be efficient and organized for our family. We’re both still learning about communication in the midst of chaos but have [and still] are working to be a team. We don’t just divide and give 50/50….it’s only when we seek to give 100% that we are a successful team and we both feel like our needs are also being met, which takes sacrifice but in the end, that’s what love, marriage, and family is.

By: carrie

carrie — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 16:42:17 +0000

Wow – you guys have extremely hands on husbands/dads. That is wonderful. My husband helps out with the kids where I really need it and happily lets me run errands exercise solo, etc…on the weekends but as far as the house goes – that’s my domain. I do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc… And really, I’m ok with that b/c I’m sure I would just micromanage him if he pitched in.

By: Sadia

Sadia — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 14:05:38 +0000

When my husband is home, our division of labour is similar to yours. I’m responsible for daycare dropoff and pickup unless my husband has a short work day, since we commute in opposite directions and daycare is on the way to my job.

However, my husband lives overseas a little over 50% of the time, 15 months at a time. During that time, the physical and present part of parenting falls on me. My husband tries to even things out by taking the bulk of doctor’s appointments and diaper changes (done with that now!) when he’s home.
Sadia´s last blog ..Daily tantrum report

By: LauraC

LauraC — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 13:30:50 +0000

We divide up the work about the same as you do, with the exception that my husband travels for work 2-4 days a week, leaving me to do everything while he’s gone. Because of that, we’ve become much more confident about leaving the kids alone with each other so we can get plenty of alone time. Next month I’ll go on my fourth solo girls weekend trip of the year!

Things did get easier once they got past 2 and were able to do some of the physical work themselves. That was huge for us, so I was able to get my regular pedicures
LauraC´s last blog ..Bonus post: Beth’s visit

By: Nicole

Nicole — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 12:44:26 +0000

My husband helps out with the babies on the days he is home (he works out of state during the week). As for other household chores – nope. Not sure if its a “macho” latino thing, a guy thing or just a “I-go-to-work-and-the-house-is-your-responsibility” thing but either way, I cook all meals (baby and adult), clean all rooms, do all laundry, etc.

Maybe I can introduce my husband to some of your husbands…
Nicole´s last blog ..One of Each

By: Jamie

Jamie — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 11:29:32 +0000

I agree with the comment above … I couldn’t imagine parenting without my husband. He is the calm to my storm. He comes up with really fun things to do with the kids. He gets the idea and I do the planning. This works great for us. He doesn’t have an organized bone in his body. I’m ultra organized and a clean freak and his idea of cleaning is to push everything up against the walls. I’ve joked for years that his motto is “if the middle is clean, it’s all clean”.

Our division of labor was easily decided … His job is demanding, he works a lot … mine equally so as a sahm. Our goal is to both do as much as possible during the week so that the weekends are family time … period.

My sister and I often have funny conversations about the differences between us and our husbands. For example, we wonder why they can’t put their dirty dishes in the dishwasher … if we left the door open and they tripped over it would they remember? We agree with this bottom line assessment … we love our husbands and think they are great fathers, we’d just like them to be a little less annoying … because of course we are not.

By: nonlineargirl

nonlineargirl — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 02:49:37 +0000

I can not imagine parenting (at all) without my husband, by which I mean my particular husband. He is a great parent and is involved in all the fun and not-so-fun parts of parenting our twins and older daughter. He is much more patient that I am, and is very good about helping me back up off the ledge when I am mentally ready to jump. I like to joke that his parenting prowess almost makes up for the fact that he routinely leaves dirty socks around the house.
nonlineargirl´s last blog ..Honestly now

By: Deanna

Deanna — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 01:58:24 +0000

I read a phrase somewhere recently that was something to the effect of “God only gives multiples to women with capable, helpful husbands.” I have found that to be mostly true (mostly out of necessity, I’m sure).

My husband never once complained about feeding babies 3 or 4 times a night, even when we were too exhausted to speak to one another. Now, he gets up to help me get them fed and dressed in the mornings, even though he works second shift and doesn’t get home until after 1 am. Like a previous poster said, he doesn’t always do it until he’s asked, but he does do what I ask. I have felt so grateful and blessed to have him as the father of my children.