Comments on: Temporary favorites http://www.hdydi.com/2009/10/temporary-favorites/ Moms of Multiples Tell it Like it Is Wed, 08 Feb 2012 02:35:56 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Janel http://www.hdydi.com/2009/10/temporary-favorites/comment-page-1/#comment-6647 Janel Mon, 02 Nov 2009 14:26:47 +0000 http://www.hdydi.com/?p=3573#comment-6647 When mine were a few weeks old my ds started struggling with feeding issues. He had a bad latch (even on bottles - seriously - he had to be hospitalized over it even) and it could take an hour and a half to feed him. My dh and I exchanged babies for every feed, so it was always good feed - hard feed - good feed - hard feed. Etc. It got so we had some hard core trench humor over it, and gave him the nickname "(his name) the Demoralizer." Wouldn't you know it, as soon as this got worked out my dd's reliable eating turned nasty. Turned out she had been eating so well because she wasn't digesting most of it. She had silent reflux. Once again it was good feed - bad feed - good feed - bad feed. Except, this time, it had changed children. Everything has been like that since then. A child that has been easy one hour will be more difficult the next. Easy disposition one week will turn into clingy the next. My dh and I often forget whose turn it is for which kid regularly now. So if we can't remember, I just let him choose. I don't really care, they both have their difficulties and rewards. Fairly regularly, though, he finds that whichever kid he picked because he thought they would be easy, HA, wasn't. At which point, we laugh and say "you chose... poorly..." (ala Indiana Jones during the Holy Grail scene). They're different. Parts are easy, parts are hard. I've found that rolling with it makes it much easier. Working with their strengths and weaknesses makes life work. Worrying about which one is going to be awesome at whatever every day gets me nowhere, and just frustrated and wry when it turns out to be the opposite. As long as I stop to laugh - at myself - at my husband - at the situations - at the general goofiness and heightened happiness that can exist when you're relaxed - just all of it, that's what gives me perspective. .-= Janel´s last blog ..<a href="http://polychrome-baby.livejournal.com/48261.html" rel="nofollow">First Birthday Party Pictures</a> =-. When mine were a few weeks old my ds started struggling with feeding issues. He had a bad latch (even on bottles – seriously – he had to be hospitalized over it even) and it could take an hour and a half to feed him. My dh and I exchanged babies for every feed, so it was always good feed – hard feed – good feed – hard feed. Etc. It got so we had some hard core trench humor over it, and gave him the nickname “(his name) the Demoralizer.”
Wouldn’t you know it, as soon as this got worked out my dd’s reliable eating turned nasty. Turned out she had been eating so well because she wasn’t digesting most of it. She had silent reflux.
Once again it was good feed – bad feed – good feed – bad feed. Except, this time, it had changed children.
Everything has been like that since then. A child that has been easy one hour will be more difficult the next. Easy disposition one week will turn into clingy the next.
My dh and I often forget whose turn it is for which kid regularly now. So if we can’t remember, I just let him choose. I don’t really care, they both have their difficulties and rewards. Fairly regularly, though, he finds that whichever kid he picked because he thought they would be easy, HA, wasn’t. At which point, we laugh and say “you chose… poorly…” (ala Indiana Jones during the Holy Grail scene).

They’re different. Parts are easy, parts are hard. I’ve found that rolling with it makes it much easier. Working with their strengths and weaknesses makes life work. Worrying about which one is going to be awesome at whatever every day gets me nowhere, and just frustrated and wry when it turns out to be the opposite.

As long as I stop to laugh – at myself – at my husband – at the situations – at the general goofiness and heightened happiness that can exist when you’re relaxed – just all of it, that’s what gives me perspective.
.-= Janel´s last blog ..First Birthday Party Pictures =-.

]]> By: nonlineargirl http://www.hdydi.com/2009/10/temporary-favorites/comment-page-1/#comment-6527 nonlineargirl Fri, 23 Oct 2009 05:10:00 +0000 http://www.hdydi.com/?p=3573#comment-6527 As my twins are 5 months old, I have an easy answer when people ask me that. I say: "whichever one is sleeping better." .-= nonlineargirl´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/nonlineargirl/YJBK/~3/wbK9I-areeg/five-at-five.html" rel="nofollow">Five at Five</a> =-. As my twins are 5 months old, I have an easy answer when people ask me that. I say: “whichever one is sleeping better.”
.-= nonlineargirl´s last blog ..Five at Five =-.

]]> By: jeanne http://www.hdydi.com/2009/10/temporary-favorites/comment-page-1/#comment-6478 jeanne Wed, 21 Oct 2009 17:44:55 +0000 http://www.hdydi.com/?p=3573#comment-6478 every 5 minutes I have a different "favorite". Or maybe it's more accurate to say that I have an "unfavorite" 2 blows. but less so than 1. and way less so than under 1. or so I've been told. I don't remember :) .-= jeanne´s last blog ..<a href="http://twomanybabies.blogspot.com/2009/10/storyhour-fail.html" rel="nofollow">storyhour fail</a> =-. every 5 minutes I have a different “favorite”. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say that I have an “unfavorite”

2 blows. but less so than 1. and way less so than under 1. or so I’ve been told. I don’t remember :)
.-= jeanne´s last blog ..storyhour fail =-.

]]> By: Nicole http://www.hdydi.com/2009/10/temporary-favorites/comment-page-1/#comment-6456 Nicole Tue, 20 Oct 2009 19:06:38 +0000 http://www.hdydi.com/?p=3573#comment-6456 Mine don't really flip flop - my son is usually the "bad" one in that he tends to be fussier and needier. However, he is much better at playing by himself where my daughter needs to climb all over someone (me). She may not be fussing but it isn't enjoyable to play with someone who just claws at you all the time. So, I guess they both have their "bad" points (and plenty of good points too!) and, depending on the situation, one kid might seem worse than the other. .-= Nicole´s last blog ..<a href="http://sotorrifictwins.blogspot.com/2009/10/sippy-cup-saga.html" rel="nofollow">A Sippy Cup Saga</a> =-. Mine don’t really flip flop – my son is usually the “bad” one in that he tends to be fussier and needier. However, he is much better at playing by himself where my daughter needs to climb all over someone (me). She may not be fussing but it isn’t enjoyable to play with someone who just claws at you all the time.
So, I guess they both have their “bad” points (and plenty of good points too!) and, depending on the situation, one kid might seem worse than the other.
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..A Sippy Cup Saga =-.

]]> By: Nancy http://www.hdydi.com/2009/10/temporary-favorites/comment-page-1/#comment-6454 Nancy Tue, 20 Oct 2009 17:50:02 +0000 http://www.hdydi.com/?p=3573#comment-6454 Heck ya! Mine STILL changes daily (hourly??) I definitely have one twin who just needs more attention...so I feel rotten at the end of the day when I realize that the other one got the short end of the stick...but I try to keep on top of it and pay more attention when the needy one is doing okay. .-= Nancy´s last blog ..<a href="http://zimmerzoo.wordpress.com/2009/10/20/the-blog-book-creation/" rel="nofollow">The Blog Book Creation</a> =-. Heck ya! Mine STILL changes daily (hourly??)

I definitely have one twin who just needs more attention…so I feel rotten at the end of the day when I realize that the other one got the short end of the stick…but I try to keep on top of it and pay more attention when the needy one is doing okay.
.-= Nancy´s last blog ..The Blog Book Creation =-.

]]> By: Tracy http://www.hdydi.com/2009/10/temporary-favorites/comment-page-1/#comment-6453 Tracy Tue, 20 Oct 2009 17:36:01 +0000 http://www.hdydi.com/?p=3573#comment-6453 Definitely! On an almost hourly basis I flip-flop. I used to feel guilty about it, but now I realize that it swings back and forth almost constantly so I just ride it out. My love for both of them is infinite at the end of the day, so "liking" one of them more on a temporary basis is of no matter. Definitely! On an almost hourly basis I flip-flop. I used to feel guilty about it, but now I realize that it swings back and forth almost constantly so I just ride it out. My love for both of them is infinite at the end of the day, so “liking” one of them more on a temporary basis is of no matter.

]]> By: Quadmama http://www.hdydi.com/2009/10/temporary-favorites/comment-page-1/#comment-6451 Quadmama Tue, 20 Oct 2009 16:45:21 +0000 http://www.hdydi.com/?p=3573#comment-6451 People always ask who the "troublemaker" is in my group... it changes on a daily basis. In some ways that's a good thing because I find myself relaxing and enjoying a different daughter each day! .-= Quadmama´s last blog ..<a href="http://buriedinlaundry.blogspot.com/2009/10/thats-mine-pt-2.html" rel="nofollow">That's Mine Pt. 2</a> =-. People always ask who the “troublemaker” is in my group… it changes on a daily basis. In some ways that’s a good thing because I find myself relaxing and enjoying a different daughter each day!
.-= Quadmama´s last blog ..That’s Mine Pt. 2 =-.

]]> By: Rebecca http://www.hdydi.com/2009/10/temporary-favorites/comment-page-1/#comment-6450 Rebecca Tue, 20 Oct 2009 15:29:53 +0000 http://www.hdydi.com/?p=3573#comment-6450 You know, it's interesting---I was just talking to my husband last night about how I was concerned that I have a much better (closer, maybe) relationship with my more challenging child. Maybe it's all the extra attention she's needed over the past 18 months, maybe it's that her brother is more of a "daddy's boy" but it's something I'm struggling to figure out how to work on. I know, I know....I could take him out by himself. But how to do that when he is crying to stay home with Daddy or Grandma and Little Girl is crying to go out with me? Oh, and of course, more challenging child is now potty training (oddly, in an unchallenging, easy way) and so gets EVEN MORE attention from me on a regular, daily (hourly?) basis. You know, it’s interesting—I was just talking to my husband last night about how I was concerned that I have a much better (closer, maybe) relationship with my more challenging child. Maybe it’s all the extra attention she’s needed over the past 18 months, maybe it’s that her brother is more of a “daddy’s boy” but it’s something I’m struggling to figure out how to work on. I know, I know….I could take him out by himself. But how to do that when he is crying to stay home with Daddy or Grandma and Little Girl is crying to go out with me? Oh, and of course, more challenging child is now potty training (oddly, in an unchallenging, easy way) and so gets EVEN MORE attention from me on a regular, daily (hourly?) basis.

]]> By: Amanda http://www.hdydi.com/2009/10/temporary-favorites/comment-page-1/#comment-6449 Amanda Tue, 20 Oct 2009 14:58:17 +0000 http://www.hdydi.com/?p=3573#comment-6449 Megan, I have the same situation going on. My twins are complete opposites when at home and out and about. At home our boy twin is more then happy playing by himself with no glance in our direction. With family he always runs to everyone with big hugs and kisses. Our girl twin is a little more clingy at home and likes to snuggle but when she's with other family or friends she's off on her own, happy, but is not a fan of other people until she gets comfortable. I always get the joking (but most likely in all seriousness) that 'she doesn't like me' all because he will run to people and she won't! And it makes me mad because people don't make the effort and take the time to let her warm up to them. And they make the quick comparison that he's so outgoing so she must not like them. If she was a singleton this most likely would'nt even be an issue. She would be known as shy, end of story. Any advice on how to deal with those annoying remarks would be greatly appreciated! Megan, I have the same situation going on. My twins are complete opposites when at home and out and about. At home our boy twin is more then happy playing by himself with no glance in our direction. With family he always runs to everyone with big hugs and kisses. Our girl twin is a little more clingy at home and likes to snuggle but when she’s with other family or friends she’s off on her own, happy, but is not a fan of other people until she gets comfortable. I always get the joking (but most likely in all seriousness) that ‘she doesn’t like me’ all because he will run to people and she won’t! And it makes me mad because people don’t make the effort and take the time to let her warm up to them. And they make the quick comparison that he’s so outgoing so she must not like them. If she was a singleton this most likely would’nt even be an issue. She would be known as shy, end of story. Any advice on how to deal with those annoying remarks would be greatly appreciated!

]]> By: Heather http://www.hdydi.com/2009/10/temporary-favorites/comment-page-1/#comment-6448 Heather Tue, 20 Oct 2009 14:55:54 +0000 http://www.hdydi.com/?p=3573#comment-6448 I learned this concept early on, in the NICU, when we were able to hold and feed one baby, and the other had a CPAP mask, couldn't be held, and was fed through an IV. I realized that I already saw one as "the good one" and one as "the difficult one". Thankfully, since then, I've learned that they switch roles almost every day! I learned this concept early on, in the NICU, when we were able to hold and feed one baby, and the other had a CPAP mask, couldn’t be held, and was fed through an IV. I realized that I already saw one as “the good one” and one as “the difficult one”. Thankfully, since then, I’ve learned that they switch roles almost every day!

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