Comments on: Everyone’s an Expert

By: Samantha

Samantha — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 18:40:35 +0000

I muddle around– parenting in my own way. I try to follow my instincts and remind myself that if I am compassionate with my children then hopefully they will learn to be compassionate with each other and their slightly crazy mother.

In terms of toilet training, we just had our potty sitting out for months and when my oldest daughter seemed to be interested we put her in panties and let her have at it. Then, of course, I went and had myself a set of twins and all hell broke loose.
.-= Samantha´s last blog ..Enid: An Update =-.

By: Kristin Hutchinson

Kristin Hutchinson — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 16:56:05 +0000

There is definitely no one way or “right” way to parent! Thank goodness!

My advice for potty training is NAKED TIME, or at least ditching the diapers whenever possible. Which is harder indoors an in the winter time, thats for sure. And also hard on your furniture and rugs, if you have them! But I found (and am finding again) that my girls are SO much more aware of what they are doing when they see and feel the pee immediately.

Also, I think doing it one kid at a time (first your daughter, later your son) might actually be an easier way to do it anyway! Peer pressure/encouragement goes a long way, once the readiness is there, too. Good luck!
.-= Kristin Hutchinson´s last blog ..Breakfasting =-.

By: Merri Ann

Merri Ann — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 10:44:58 +0000

I agree … there is no one right way. The main thing I’ve learned as a parent is that everyone has to decide what is best for their family.

Before I had kids, I thought I would never have a child that wasn’t potty trained at the age of three … but here you have it. My son is a hold out so far.

I thought I would potty train my b/g twins both at once … so I waited for my son to be ready … and waited … and waited … finally I decided to split it up … my daughter trained fairly easily and I’m still waiting for my son.

The only advice I’d give for potty training is to not rush it … it’s a learning process … I’ve never understood why kids get to slowly learn everything but how to use the bathroom by themselves.

Also, I keep them in a diaper or pull up at night until they have gone 3 months with a dry diaper … and I put the large wee wee pads (the ones they use on hospital beds … only I use the large ones that are cheaper at Pets Mart) under their sheets after they are out of diapers for another couple of months.
.-= Merri Ann´s last blog ..A New Kind Of Diaper =-.

By: Judy

Judy — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 03:22:50 +0000

I like this post. That is exactly what I needed to hear from my Mom when I was trying to breastfeed the girls. I am also a rule follower and want to know the best way to do things. But when you have twins, the added pressure of trying to the “right” thing is just too much too handle. Parenting is definitely does not lend itself to a one-way fits all approach. That is part of what makes parenting a creative and always interesting excercise!

By: Nicole

Nicole — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 20:16:07 +0000

We are no where near potty training yet but as far as listening the the experts, I tend to go with whatever advice fits my life and my personality and what I think will fly with my kids. Since I am kind of a hard-ass, I tend to side more with the hard line experts than the warm and fuzzy experts, if you know what I mean. Kind of like Sadia said, I won't even consider advice that isn't somwhere in teh realm of my parenting philosophy, no matter the rave reiviews. I also try not to give too much advice to other moms unless I know that they are seeking it and/or they are of the same parenting philosophy as me. .-= Nicole´s last blog ..Toddling Times Two =-.

By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 19:28:26 +0000

I think separately is best! The most surprising thing for me about potty training was how freaking exhausting it was….for me. It messes with all your routines and errands and activities and makes them much harder for a while. It might just be too overwhelming to do two at once—I certainly feel that way. Not that it mattered, since my son was having none of it. My daughter potty trained in October at 2 1/2 and has been completed trained (except for night/nap since I refuse to move her out of her crib to a bed yet, although she does wake up dry)–her brother wants nothing to do with it. Still. We have gotten him to get excited about sitting on the potty and to sit for a story, but that’s it. All that crap about “if you train one, the other will do it because of the peer pressure” might be true for some twins, but not mine.

Feel free to email me if you want to hear about our potty training adventure so far. I certainly learned a lot…

By: Quadmama

Quadmama — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 17:43:25 +0000

When you mention potty training, everyone wants to give their opinion. With four, I really had to learn to relax and take it one day at a time. It took me nearly 6 months to potty train all four. Two caught on within days. The other two could have cared less, so I didn’t push it. So many people (without multiples) think multiples will automatically learn everything at the same time. Not true… and as the parent you’ll figure out who’s ready to do what when. Good luck!
.-= Quadmama´s last blog ..Snip, Snip…waaah! =-.

By: Sadia

Sadia — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 14:47:44 +0000

In the intro to The Good Enough Parent, Bettelheim points out that no parent is going to seek out or follow advice that doesn’t fit into their existent parenting philosophy. Sure, they might try different techniques, but they won’t completely change their attitude based on some expert’s say-so.

My husband and I are the experts on our kids. Even though they’re genetically identical, they need to be guided in different ways. I think it’s the fact that they’re identical and yet so different that gave me the confidence, very early, to chart my own way, only listening to the advice that made sense to us and our particular situation.

Melody potty trained overnight because she wanted her Daddy to be proud during the 10 days he was home this summer, and Jessica potty trained the next day to get the praise her sister was getting. This was, of course, after 19 months of me getting frustrated, trying to train, abandoning the attempt, trying to train, and abandoning the attempt, and of them seeing many many classmates successfully master the toilet.

Good luck!
.-= Sadia´s last blog ..Oh, the tantrums =-.