Our identical twin girls are now 18 months old, and they have just recently started to show signs of the special twin connection or bond everyone talks so much about. Most of the time they are either doing their own things or competing for attention. But, every now and then they’ll show that they are aware of and concerned about each other. Here are a few examples.
The girls are only allowed to have their soothers in their cribs or in their bedroom. When I’m changing R, and S is on the floor, S will crawl over to her crib and get her soother. Then, she’ll get R’s soother and bring it to her. R will do the same thing if I’m changing S first.
S was riding around the living room on a toy car while R was playing in another part of the room. S wanted to pick up a toy but couldn’t reach it from on the car. She pointed at the toy, but I said she would have to get off and pick it up herself. Meanwhile R came over and picked up the toy for S. R then went back to playing with her toys.
Recently, I was breastfeeding S before bed. Nana took R for a walk down the hall to keep her busy for a couple of minutes. When it was time to trade, I started feeding R and Nana went to put S in her crib. S was quite upset. She kept pointing down the hall where her sister had been walking. So Nana had to take her for a walk even though she hadn’t seen where her sister went while she was feeding.
At dinner they will often trade cups or spoons or bowls. This transaction is a different from when one reaches over and takes something from her sister. They just suddenly pass each other their cups and then continue with their meals.
It is so refreshing to see these moments when so much of my time is spent refereeing or mediating between the two girls and their older brother. I’m looking forward to seeing how this connection develops as they get older, more mobile and more communicative.
Do your multiples share a special bond? When did your children start to develop a special bond? How do you nurture it?
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7 responses so far ↓
1 Kym // Jul 23, 2010 at 2:23 pm
We’re just starting to see this with our 7 month old girls… They are now quite aware of each other, and if one is taken from the room, the other wants to go too! They are passing toys (and fighting over them) and starting to give each other gummy kisses on the head. Bliss…
2 Nicole // Jul 23, 2010 at 5:18 pm
That is too cute! My two will try and soothe one another, especially if they were not the offender. For example, if one falls and cries, the other will get their lovie (pillow for my son, blankie for my daughter) and give it to them to cheer them up. It’s the sweetest thing and makes all those crazy, hair-pulling twin moments worth it!
3 Emily // Jul 25, 2010 at 9:37 am
So good to hear that this is coming! We’re at 15 mos. and I was starting to feel like they’d never catch on. Is there a point where kissing becomes less like biting?
4 Christina Tinglof // Jul 26, 2010 at 8:06 am
I opened one child’s backpack (I think back in fourth grade) and there was a hand-drawn picture of the two holding hands. The bottom read, “my best friend.” Now that they’re 14, they’re still close but they also fight–a lot. They so want to be seen as their own person.
5 diane // Jul 26, 2010 at 2:41 pm
My boys just turned 3 and are finally starting to act more like brothers & buddies. I love to see them interact with each other in this new stage. Up until now, it was only in very rare moments they spoke to each other, tried to engage the other, or invited the other into play. Thats happening more now. What has always gone on is watching the other and learning from what the other does, even without words. This kind of learning is unique to twins, at least from what I’ve observed, and I think its a major benefit to their learning so far.
6 Jules // Jul 30, 2010 at 1:40 pm
Ours are 16 months old. They do really well usually in entertaining eachother. If there are two of anything sitting around, one will grab both and go find her sister to share. (Now if just one toy is sitting there though, that starts a fight)
They have little lovey dogs and are always giving them back and forth to eachother.
7 Dianna // Aug 5, 2010 at 4:16 pm
My boys just turned two, and they are just now acting like they even like each other, much less love each other. They usually fight ALOT.
Nowdays, they’ve been pretty sweet together — if one cries, the brother will go over and give him a hug – SO sweet!
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