In the few minutes I had, I told her that I also had twins, and that I’d delivered them 7 weeks early. Although it was scary at the time, they spent less than 3 weeks in the NICU, and are now flourishing. If bed rest was what her babies needed, maybe holding on to the thought that she’s doing it for them would help the time pass faster. I told her that I’d be thinking of her, and that I hoped that her babies stayed healthy and in her womb as long as they could.

If you had just 2 or 3 minutes to comfort a scared mother-of-multiples-to-be, what would you say to her?

Sadia is an army wife and working mom of 5-year-old identical twin girls. She and her family live in El Paso, TX, where her husband is stationed at Ft Bliss.

1. What was your reaction when you found out you were pregnant with two babies? [Your husband] Scott’s?

People ask me a lot if I was surprised by the fact that I was pregnant with twins. I’m fairly sure the subtext of that question is, “Were they spontaneous twins?”  Generally, I reply, “I think everybody is surprised by twins!”

In my case, my twins weren’t spontaneous; I’d undergone an ovulation induction cycle, and I knew that the risk of multiples was higher. However, I was also under close observation, and we never had any reason to believe more than one egg had been released.  My hormone levels rose higher than I was expecting them to, so I did wonder if something was up, but at around 5 weeks, 3 days, when I had my first ultrasound, the doctor only saw one gestational sac at first.  The second little peekaboo sac was definitely a surprise!

Scott wasn’t able to make it to that first ultrasound, so I called him at work afterward to let him know.  I told him, “Everything looks good… but we may need to think of some more names.”  He knew what I meant immediately.  He’s a low-key guy, but he was excited, and I’m sure a little bit nervous, when he found out.

2. How did your expectations of parenthood change when you discovered that you would be a mother of multiples.

I was always fairly sure that, despite not having a ton of experience with babies and small children, Scott and I could probably figure out how to raise a child on our own. Raising twins, I’ll admit, still sounds like a much more formidable task than raising one.  You can check with me again in a year to see if I’ve broken them yet.

On the other hand, especially since we struggled with conceiving, I had developed a lot of ideas and theories about how we were going to raise our hypothetical only child. In some ways, finding out that we were expecting twins was freeing. Even in my naivete, I know that there will be times when I can’t meet both babies’ needs at the moment those needs arise. I feel like I’ve been able to give up my expectation of being Super Mom before the kids have even arrived.

3. Can you tell me a little about your experience with doctors specializing in multiple pregnancies? How did you find them, and how do you think working with specialists has benefited you?

I bought Dr. Barbara Luke’s “When You’re Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads,” not long after seeing the babies’ heartbeats at 6 weeks gestation.  I found the information in the book helpful but general, and I wanted advice more closely tailored to me.  I spent a lot of time searching the Internet for resources on twins, especially locally.  While I didn’t find a whole lot locally (aside from the Moms of Multiples group), I did find the Texas Children’s Hospital Program for Multiples in Houston.  I was most interested in the nutritional assessment they offer, to see how it compared to the one in Luke’s book.  Generally, it was fairly similar, but with a stronger emphasis on lower-fat foods. They also follow similar 20 pounds by 20 weeks guidelines.

My twins are dichorionic and diamniotic, and I’ve really had a fairly uncomplicated pregnancy throughout, so I think the program was less helpful for me as it would have been for, say, parents of identical twins with a higher risk of TTTS. But I learned a lot about my babies and was very relieved to have a clean bill of health as we finished up the first trimester. It’s a great program, for those who are able to get to Houston, and it was completely covered by my insurance.

4. What personality traits do you predict for your babies, based on feeling them move?

Even before I could feel them move, I could see the differences in my babies on each ultrasound.  Starting at 8 or 9 weeks gestation, it became apparent that our little boy, Baby B, is quite a wiggler.  Our girl, Baby A, does her share of moving as well, but she’s never been nearly as active as her brother.  I anticipate we’re going to need to get Baby B involved in lots of physical activity to burn off all that extra energy.  On the other hand, our girl really likes to kick her mama in the bladder, so I’m predicting a typically complicated mother/daughter relationship with her!

5. What reactions do you get from people when they learn that you are expecting twins?

The most common reaction I get is, “Do you know what you’re having?” And when I tell them we’re expecting a boy and a girl, they almost always reply, “Oh, wow, that’s perfect! You can be done!”  As though we would have been required to keep trying for the opposite sex if we’d had two boys or two girls.  Or an only child, for that matter.  I’m learning a bit of zen, when it comes to responding to curious comments.  People generally mean well, and I don’t think they really think through their response. It’s as much small talk as anything.  (I’m sure I’ll be less patient when we can’t walk down an aisle at the grocery store without being interrupted, but people generally can’t tell I’m carrying twins, so I feel like I’m undercover for the time being.)

6. You are 33 weeks into your pregnancy right now. How do you feel, physically?

I’m definitely starting to feel tired and uncomfortable!  I anticipated that I would feel progressively worse as the pregnancy went on.  In actuality, it seems a little more cyclical than that. I hit a wall every couple of weeks, then I adapt and feel better for a while.  My quarter-mile walk to the office is definitely starting to feel like a long way, though!

7. What do you know now about multiple pregnancy, or pregnancy in general, that you wish you’d known earlier?

I spent the first two-thirds of my pregnancy mentally preparing myself for the possibility that I might be on bed rest or out of work for a long time.  I didn’t expect that I’d actually be pretty good at carrying twins, and still working at 33 weeks.  Knowing that would’ve saved me a lot of worrying early on!

8. You and Scott will both be returning to work after parental leave. What will your childcare arrangements be? How are you going about choosing?

This July, we spent our fifth wedding anniversary shopping for infant childcare, three months in advance of the anticipated arrival of our twins, and six months in advance of when we’d expect them to start daycare. It felt really unfair that we had to choose a childcare provider to care for our kids when we haven’t even had a chance to meet them or get to know them yet.  We visited four childcare providers and finally chose a Montessori school with an infant program in our neighborhood.   The rates were comparable to most of the other infant daycares in town, but we were impressed with the age-based Montessori classrooms, and we had a great rapport with the teacher in the infant room.  She lives in our neighborhood, as do many of the kids in the school, and she has twin grandsons.  We felt that our babies would be in good hands in her care.  Picking a place close to home means it’ll be equally convenient for Scott or me to drop them off and pick them up, and we hope we’ll be able to get to know other parents and kids in our area.

9. What have you already done to prepare for your twins’ arrival? What do you have left to do?

I feel as well prepared as a naive almost-mom can be. Our nursery is packed full of onesies, diapers, and random plastic baby accoutrements. We have places for the babies to sleep (though they may have to share for a little while). We’ve got a double stroller.  We’ve got infant car seats, and we’ve installed them into one of our two cars.  We’ve gone to all the classes we plan to go to in advance of their birth, and we’re trying to enjoy some nights out together before the nuclear bomb that is parenthood drops on us both.

I do still have a rigorous nap schedule to try to maintain for the next three to five weeks.  And a lot of work to wrap up.

10. What questions do you have for other parents of multiples?

I feel like I’ve heard the answers to most of my questions, and they all seem to vary from family to family. (How long did it take to feel like you had everything under control?  Were you able to breastfeed two babies at once?  How do you handle the financial burden of two infants at once, especially when you add in the huge expense of childcare?)

I’d rather hear words of reassurance.  Tell me when multiples get to be fun!

I know a lot of people who had one child and then had twins. Or they had several children and then had twins. And in those families, the non-twins all seem completely level-headed and happy. But I wonder if a younger child growing up in the shadow of older twins might feel, well, like a third wheel. And then I think, well, if we have a third, we should probably have a fourth, so that he/she doesn’t feel that way…and it feels sort of funny to be thinking so far ahead about bearing a child just so another one won’t feel left out.

I’m curious about the experiences of other MOMS who have had another child after having multiples, especially if the multiples were your first children. Obviously you can try to ensure that your youngest child is included and doesn’t feel left out, but I imagine that having older identical twin sisters, as would be the case for any new child that I might have, would at times feel lonely, what with having no twin of your own. Have any of you found that be true? What have you done to help the non-multiples in your family not feel left out?

To be sure, the idea of having a singleton after having twins is very attractive. When the girls were young I used to day dream about breastfeeding only one baby and hearing the cries of only one baby. Did you all find raising singletons to be that much easier than your multiples? What was different about having one baby at a time versus two or three (or four?)

In kindergarten, P was assigned to an intervention reading group. G was in a higher-level group, but he didn’t read for me at home, and P did. After I asked the teacher several times whether their files may have been confused, she wrote me after winter break and said P had accelerated quickly and had been placed in a higher group than G, and he was moved up again several weeks later. Because I believed she had confused them, giving intervention services to a child who didn’t need them rather than the child who did, and because I felt I wasn’t getting straight answers from their teacher, I worried about their progress for the entire year.

From the moment we found out we were having twins, everything was scary. The statistics are terrifying. The books said I’d lost 20 valuable weeks that I could have spent packing on body fat to sustain the babies in late pregnancy, when I wouldn’t be able to eat as much. I’d been having Braxton-Hicks contractions since 16 or 17 weeks – my doctor didn’t feel that was a good sign. From week 20, when I found out, to week 37 when I delivered my twins, every day and every contraction and nearly every moment was tinged with worry.

I think it’s that way for most of us. I am very lucky, in that I got to stop worrying about my boys’ physical health quickly after they were born.

Now I worry about whether people are able to see them and treat them as individuals, and how the boys feel about being individuals. I worry about how painful it will be when they eventually separate. I worry that their speech problems prevent them from volunteering in class, and that they may eventually get picked on because of them. I worry about P being bored, and G being left behind, because a teacher made a mistake and wouldn’t own up to it.

In our district the kids are given standardized tests so teachers and parents can track a child’s growth throughout the school year and from year to year, to make sure a kid is progressing. Last week I went to the school and requested their scores. The principal came out and sat beside me and handed me a post-it note on which she’d jotted their scores. Tears welled up in my eyes.

They both made great strides last year. They’re both above average. They are normal and doing fine, and oh, it is wonderful to have plain old normal kids who are doing fine!

I cried because I am so grateful that I can stop worrying about their academic progress. I also cried because the scores confirmed that my boys were placed in the wrong reading groups last year. Their math scores were identical, but their reading scores were drastically different. My little boy who struggles with reading spent months in a group that was way over his head, and his self-confidence shows it.

Jen is a work-from-home mom of 7-year-old twin boys, and two girls ages 4.5 and 9. She also blogs at Minivan MacGyver, where she alternates between waxing nostalgic over her children’s toddler years, and despairing over the amount of work still required for their upkeep.

I recently heard of a friend’s twin pregnancy and I was flooded with memories of my own twin pregnancy.  14 months ago I was 75 pounds heavier, full of water, sore back, sore rib, and very obviously pregnant with twins.  The twin pregnancy wasn’t always this obvious.  I spent the first 20 weeks of my pregnancy blissfully unaware.  In hind sight I believe that being unaware had it’s benefits.

I had an early ultrasound at 6 weeks that confirmed one healthy baby.  Looking back there were clues that I was carrying two babies but all the symptoms could easily be explained.  I was exhausted……..but I had a 1, 3, and 4 year old and was still nursing.  I was extremely sick………but I never felt well during pregnancies and also had little ones to be chasing after.  I gained 25 lbs in first trimester and looked bigger than previous pregnancies………but I was pregnant for the 4th time and used food as a way to settle my constantly upset stomach.

At 20 weeks I showed up for my mid-point ultrasound excited but a little nervous.  I was hoping for a healthy baby.  I can still remember the surreal feelings of looking at the ultrasound monitor with two babies and hearing the gasp of the ultrasound tech.  My poor husband was left in the waiting room for over an hour wondering what was taking me so long, frantically trying to keep the younger three entertained by one bag of fruit snacks.  When they finally allowed him in the room he was speechless.  TWINS!  The thought had never even crossed our minds.  Even my Dr. was shocked and kept wondering if she had missed any clues.  I found it ironic that at my 18 week appointment I measured 18 weeks, however at my 22 week appointment, I was measuring 30.  Whatever clues my body hadn’t given away up until that point, it made sure to catch up quickly!  By 24 weeks I was the same size that I had been at the end of my previous pregnancy.

Here I am at 12 weeks and then 38 weeks.

Finding out about twins opened up a whole new world of worry.  Would I be able to carry full term?  Would there be health concerns for my babies?  For me?  How would I managed with 5 kids under 5?  The next few months passed in a blur with regular Dr.’s appointments and ultrasounds.  The Dr.’s suspected that I was pregnant with fraternal boys so I never gave much thought to conditions that are specific to identical pregnancies.  After the birth of the boys we discovered that I did have one placenta and that the boys had developed late stage twin to twin transfusion.  Baby A was 6 lbs 8 oz. and pale and sickly looking.  Baby B was 8 lbs 2 oz and bright red and swollen.  Again, by being unaware, I had been spared the worry of wondering about their outcomes.

Whether or not I went through my pregnancy with worry or peace, the reality is that my twin pregnancy holds a special place in my heart.  I got to experience two active, moving babies causing my stomach to appear unlike anything I had ever experienced prior.  I got to watch my stomach grow to proportions I hope it never grows to again.  Being pregnant with twins is special…. kind of like they are!

What was your experience of being pregnant with twins like?  Were you blissfully unaware or perhaps too realistically aware ?

When we thought about having a second child I had images of snuggling the new baby in to the carrier and heading off to do all sorts of things with my 2-year-old son.  I imagined going to the library, the park and the indoor playground.  I thought it would be a chance for me to explore the world with my son, with the baby hanging out with us. Having twins meant reconsidering that plan.

I don’t think our son really understood we were going to be having twins until they arrived home from the hospital. He was only 27 months old when they were born and I’m not sure he was old enough to conceptualize what it meant to have a new baby in our family let alone two. But, it isn’t from a lack of effort on our part.

We talked about babies and big brothers

Starting a few months before they were due, we began to introduce the idea of babies. The timing was good because he had suddenly started to notice babies and we had a couple of friends who had new babies. We spent a lot of time talking about babies in general and about having two new babies in our family.  We read books and talked about looking after babies. We pointed to my tummy and talked about the babies inside. At the same time, we started talking about being a big brother and how that is a special job.  The day before the babies were born (scheduled c-section) we went and bought him a “big brother” shirt.  He loved that shirt and wore it for days after the babies were born.

We established and maintained routines

We moved him to his new bedroom and made the transition from his crib to his bed a few months before the babies were due so he was settled there before they were born. We set up the crib and change table and sorted clothes for the new babies to establish their presence.

Fortunately my pregnancy didn’t interfere too much with his routine. Later in my pregnancy, Daddy had to look after getting him up because I couldn’t lift him anymore. But, as much as possible we kept things the same.  Our son went to the same dayhome until just before Christmas (the babies were born in early January).

We took advantage of the time we had before the babies were born

Over Christmas we spent lots of one-on-one time with our son. We did practical things like getting his hair cut, and fun things like going for pictures with Santa.  This meant I had to borrow a wheelchair so I could get around more easily, but it was worth it.

We prepared gifts to and from the babies

We took our son to the baby section and let him pick a gift for the babies.  He chose a package of socks. So we wrapped those up and he brought them when he came to meet the babies at the hospital.  We also bought two books for him as gifts from the babies.  The books were also a good distraction for him while he visited in the hospital.

We prepared for my hospital stay

We didn’t really do much to prepare him for my hospital stay. The morning of my c-section, I spent a few minutes explaining to him I was going away to have the babies and that Daddy and Nana would look after him. In the hospital, we found out where there was kids playroom.  We also brought some snacks and toys for his visits. When he did come to visit, I tried to spend time with him and let someone else hold the babies.

We explained to him in simple terms (“Mommy has an owie on her tummy”) that I couldn’t carry him or hold him on my lap for a little while.  He needed some reminders, but he accepted it.

We made sure there were two adults around

During the first six weeks after my c-section, I always had someone around to help. I could lift my son, so someone needed to be there to look after him and to entertain him.  Whenever there were errands to do Daddy or Nana would take him along so he got one-on-one time.

We included him

Our son picked outfits for the babies and got them blankets and bibs when they needed them.  We made the baby supplies accessible to him and gave him some responsibilities in caring for them. He could rock them in the swing or turn on the bouncy seat. When I was breastfeeding, which seemed like all the time, I would read him stories so he could feel included.  After I finished feeding the girls, he and I would have cuddle time with a blanket.

We got out of the house

When the girls were three months old, our son started going to the dayhome again two days a week.  This was for him as much as for me.  He enjoyed playing with the other kids his age, getting outside, and not having everything revolve around the babies.  It was also a chance for me to spend time with just the girls and to rest.  As the weather improved and we got more organized, we started to do more things.  We went to the indoor playground, we took mom and tots dance classes, and we went to the library program.  It helped to have a friend in the same class to help out if necessary.  And it was important to leave enough time to get ready for any trip.

We made him the expert

When people wanted to visit the babies, our son would the one to tell them things like the babies’ names. We wanted to be sure he was included when people came to see the babies.  He loved to show off his “big brother” shirt. Some people brought him gifts when the came to see the babies, so he didn’t seem to be too jealous of the attention.  When visitors wanted to hold the babies, it was good time for him to cuddle with Mommy and Daddy.

Surprisingly, there hasn’t been too much jealously or negativity towards the babies. In fact, soon after they were born we were out at a store. The people next to us were unloading an infant car seat and our son asked “why do they only have one baby?” as if having two was the norm.

Do you have any other suggestions for helping an older sibling prepare for multiples?  How did your children respond to having new babies in the family?

After the babies are born, there was healing after a c-section. It took time for my body to recover after giving birth. In my case the doctor recommended restricted activity for 6 weeks, but my incision was uncomfortable for more than 6 months. Of course the first days and weeks were hardest while my body was healing and I was breastfeeding two babies.  I was tired and sore.

Then caring for two babies was hard on my body. The repetitive actions of lifting babies, carrying babies, bending over to bath, dress and change babies, and the hours of holding and feeding babies are all focused more on caring the baby than on good posture. Over time, sitting in uncomfortable positions wore on my body. And having two babies and a toddle to care for didn’t leave much time for exercise or taking care of myself.

And then the babies got bigger and heavier and more active. Lifting babies, car seats and diaper bags strengthens some muscles but also puts strain on my body. Hoisting a double stroller in and out of the car made it harder. I definitely get more active as the girls got more active, but again I was too busy caring for them to look after myself.

My girls are 16 months and not yet walking, so I’m not sure of what new challenges they have for my body. I hoping that when they start walking my back will have a chance to rest and heal. Fortunately, the discomfort caused by my feet flattening from the weight gain has improved with custom orthotics, but my doctor says I’ll just have to live with some of the post-pregnancy issues I’ve developed.

I’ve finally got enough of a routine in my life and some childcare options that allow me to go to the gym and to yoga. I’m trying to incorporate more activity in to our daily routine now that the weather is improving. One added benefit is that fresh air makes everyone sleeps better. Looking after my body definitely makes it easier to look after my children. It also gives me a chance to think about something other than who needs my attention now. The benefits are obvious, but sometimes it is hard to get motivated to go to the gym after a long day.

How do you care for your body/yourself? How do you keep motivated when you’re tired? What are the benefits that make it worth the effort?

First, I chose to be part of midwife-based care program from the beginning.  The midwives focused on issues like nutrition, emotional wellbeing, and staying active during pregnancy. They were also prepared to look at “alternative” therapies to help with pregnancy like nutrition, supplements, acupuncture, chiropractic care, massage therapy, yoga, and other exercises, which gave me a good foundation for making healthy decision even after my care was transferred to a doctor when we found out about the twins.

Second, based on the benefits in my first pregnancy, I started going for pregnancy massage regularly throughout my pregnancy. It helped with the aches and pains of pregnancy, and with the swelling in my hands and feet. My massage therapist was also able to provide lots of advice and information because of her training in pregnancy massage and as a doula.

Third, I started taking medication for nausea as soon as it became a problem. I didn’t wait until I felt so horrible I couldn’t eat and I started losing weight like in my first pregnancy. I continued to take medication until the day before my c-section.  The nausea improved significantly through my pregnancy, but it persisted through the whole pregnancy.

Fourth, when we found out we were expecting twins, we joined a multiple prenatal class.  It provided some helpful information, but most importantly we got a copy of Dr. Barbara Gore’s book When You’re Expecting Twins, Triplets or Quads. The focus on the importance of nutrition and weight gain was the most helpful part. I also joined an online chat group for moms of multiples, and borrowed a lot library books. Having information and answers to my questions helped me to feel in control and prepared to make decisions.

In other ways, my twin pregnancy was harder than my singleton pregnancy. From the beginning, I felt tired all the time.  Part of that was because I had an active toddler to chase around, but part of it was growing two babies. Fortunately my schedule as a grad student was quite flexible. I called my routine “self-imposed bedrest” and gave myself permission to only do what I felt I could handle. In a typical day, I would get my son up, fed and off to the dayhome.  I’d come home and nap for 1-2 hours.  I’d get up and work for a couple of hours and have lunch.  In the afternoon, I’d have another nap before picking up my son. I’d get supper ready and clean up.  In the evenings, I didn’t do much except sit on the couch, and eat – I was constantly hungry.

Throughout my pregnancy, I had more doctor’s appointments, ultrasounds, blood tests, and hospital visits.  These appointments were both physical tiring and time consuming, but I quickly learned to bring my book, my water bottle and a snack. I learned to only plan one activity per day, especially if it involved travelling anywhere because I knew I’d be exhausted by the end of it.

The last 6 weeks (from about 32 weeks) the point where my twin pregnancy really started to differ from my first pregnancy. I was big and awkward. It was hard to get motivated to do anything, and it was challenging even to just leave the house. It was uncomfortable to wear my shoes or boots. My balance wasn’t great and it was icy, so I often stayed home for days in a row. I started getting light-headed, so we decided I shouldn’t be driving alone, and eventually walking any distance got to be too hard.  I ended up borrowing a wheelchair from the Red Cross so I could go with my son for his picture with Santa and to do some Christmas shopping. Even doing things in the house was challenging, so I would plan my day with the fewest trips up and down the stairs.

And, the end of my pregnancy was very different. Instead of a mostly natural, midwife-assisted delivery at 41 weeks, I had a scheduled c-section at 37+ weeks.  And, I got to bring home two little girls, instead of one little boy.

How was your multiple pregnancy different from your other pregnancies?

Just a note: I live in Canada so I don’t have much to offer in the way of information about the US medical system, and I certainly won’t offer any medical advice.  But I’m sure there’s still things that I could say that might be helpful to you.

Here are some of the types of clothes you might encounter in your pregnancy:

First, you wear the “early” pregnancy clothes. This is when you are feeling bloated and uncomfortable in regular clothes, but it is still way too early to tell anyone you are pregnant or to start wearing maternity clothes.  If this is your second pregnancy and a multiple pregnancy, like in my case, this stage starts within a couple of weeks of finding out you’re pregnant.

Next come the “look-at-me-I’m-pregnant” maternity clothes.  You go on your first shopping trip to buy maternity clothes. You are excited about being pregnant and can’t wait to let everyone know. You buy the cute maternity tops and low-rise pants.  If you’re daring, you try them on at the store wearing the pillow around your stomach to show how they’ll look further along in your pregnancy. Depending on your budget, you may also have some “hand-me-down” maternity clothes. These are the maternity clothes that you get from friends and family who have had babies.  They might not be quite your style, but you probably can’t afford a whole new wardrobe, especially if your pregnancy will take you through more than one season.

Eventually, you realize you have to get some “I-have-to-buy-what?!” maternity clothes. These are the clothes you buy when you discover that your normal underwear is just not going to keep fitting through your pregnancy, even if you buy the next size bigger.  The same with bras, and socks, if your feet swell.  They are ridiculously expensive and you can’t imagine what you’ll do with them after your pregnancy.

At some point, fashion sense doesn’t matter and you want the “I-just-want-to-be-comfortable” maternity clothes.  No, these are the clothes that aren’t particularly stylish or suitable for wearing to work, but they are the only comfortable clothes you have.  They include the XL t-shirts from your partner and the maternity sundresses you wish you could wear every day.

If you’re having multiples, you’ll get to the point where you nee the “please-I’ll-take-whatever-you-have” maternity clothes.  These are the clothes you beg, borrow and steal from anyone, anywhere when you discover at 6 months you’ve outgrown all your maternity pants. When your size small maternity clothes don’t fit so you borrow some size large pants from a friend in hopes they’ll fit you a few more months.

As the seasons change, you realize you need some “I’ve-been-avoiding-buying-these” maternity clothes like a winter coat when it snows in October and you can’t avoid going outside for the next three months. You try to get by with wearing the “I-just-want-to-be-comfortable” maternity sweater, but it just isn’t warm enough. You also get stubborn about the “I-refuse-to-buy-these” maternity clothes, which include new winter boots that will fit your swollen feet.  You can make do with the “improvised” maternity clothes by unlacing your hiking boots, and wearing them if you absolutely have to leave the house.

Then your babies are born, and you need a whole new wardrobe. To start with, you wear the “yes-these-are-still-maternity” outfits.  They seem a little baggy right now, and after 4 or 5 months, you’re really tired of wearing them, but you don’t have the time or energy to go shopping with your newborn babies. You also wear the “easy-access” nursing tops so you can discreetly breastfeed those hungry babies anywhere.  After a while, you give up on worrying about discretion because, face it, you’re breastfeeding nearly all the time.

After a while, you realize the maternity clothes are too big but you’re still a long way from fitting in your regular clothes.  You treat yourself to a shopping trip, but you only buy “causal-mom” clothes like active wear (i.e. sweat pants), jeans and t-shirts because you rarely leave the house, and they’ll just get spit up on them anyway.

Eventually, you decide you need some nice clothes or else you’ll go crazy.  So, you head out to a sale or a consignment store and buy a couple of nice outfits.  You wear them whenever you get the chance, but every time you put them on, they feel a little bigger.  After a few times, you realize they are starting to get too big, too.

When you go back to work, you realize you have to abandon the jeans, sweats and t-shirts and wear “real” clothes again. So, you pull out your early pregnancy clothes almost fit again.  By now, it has been over a year since you’ve seen these clothes, so it is like having new clothes, sort of.  But, you’re also really used to wearing comfy loungewear, and dressing up takes way more time in the morning.

Hooray! Finally, you realize you can squeeze in to your “normal” clothes again. Your pre-pregnancy clothes don’t quite fit the same way. Your hips are a little wider, your chest is a little bigger, your feet are a little wider… You start to get dressed every morning in an assortment of clothes that are a little too big and a little too small.

Then you finally take on the task of sorting through all these clothes and figuring out what can stay, what has to go (sell, donate, give away, throw away), and what you’ll store in case you need it again some day. You have to give up the sweater that lost most of the buttons when you stretched it over your giant belly.  You have say good bye to the sweat pants that fit you through your whole pregnancy when you undid the drawstring all the way.  You get to say good riddance to the nursing tops and the pregnancy underwear. And you can probably justify spending your birthday money on a few pieces to update your “I’m-a-busy-mom” wardrobe.

Any fashion advice for a pregnant mom of multiples? Or a new mom with multiples who’s heard it is “9 months on and 9 months off”?